About Me

Hi everyone! My name is Sarah, and I am a Christian, saved and sustained daily by my wonderful Savior. I am a wife to my high school sweetheart, Mitch; we got married at 19! I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, an aunt, a co-worker, and a woman that struggles with infertility. God has used this struggle to completely transform my life. I have experienced fear, hope, anxiety, compassion, trust, peace, tears, excitement, pain, laughter, and many other things that come with infertility. But most of all, I have a deeper trust and friendship with my Creator and my husband, and for this, I am forever thankful. The purpose of this blog is for me to remember the ups and downs of this trial, and how my Savior has brought me through it all. For those who have never struggled in this area, I hope this blog will help you see a glimpse into the life of someone struggling with infertility, so that you might better know how to encourage them through these difficult times. I also pray that this blog will help other women struggling in this area to know that you are not alone! There is a river of peace that is found in Christ that can help you through even the darkest of circumstances, I promise!

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Having Faith & Being Realistic

Baby,

Today was a hard, hard day. After spotting all week long, I came to grips with the fact that I should wait until my next appointment on Wednesday to get final results on whether you were growing or not. Well, I woke up this morning to a pool of blood. Several large clots, and painful cramping. I really didn't want anything to happen this weekend because your baby cousin was due any minute. I really just wanted you to be perfectly fine, but I also hoped that if anything was wrong, that it wouldn't happen until next week. Well, I went to the ER at 8:00am, had blood work and a sonogram, and waited two hours for results. The whole time I was there, I bled so much I thought there was no chance any more. Even the nurse and Doctor were very discouraged by the amount of clots.

Two hours later, the Dr. came in to tell me that my blood work has continued to go up, though not as much as it had been, and the ultrasound did show a growing pregnancy. Not what I was expecting to hear, but it was good news. I'm thankful that this pregnancy is in the right spot and not in my tubes. Although my whole day has been spent bleeding, and my hope is nearly gone, I am still praying that you are growing and that God can cause healing to whatever is happening right now.

After we left the ER, we went to visit your newest cousin that was born at 8:53am. He is precious, and I'm glad we were able to see him, although the burden of what was happening to us was extremely heavy. I do have peace in knowing you have 4 cousins and 2 siblings here waiting for you if God allows you to grow and be born in October. And if you leave this world before we ever hold you, you have 2 cousins and 1 sibling that you will meet, along with a Savior that you will praise forever.

This waiting game feels all too familiar, but so does the peace that God brings during such a scary time. I love you forever, my sweet little baby.

-mommy

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