It is so hard to explain how much I love you already, and how excited I am that this is actually happening!! But it is also such a scary time for me. Being a mommy (along with being a wife) is the most vulnerable thing I have ever done. It opens your heart up for the most amazing experiences ever, and also some of the scariest. It is hard not to compare this pregnancy to our first little snowflake, but I find myself doing it every now and then. Today is a big deal though! I have officially passed the stage that I first saw blood in my last pregnancy. I keep thinking in my mind, "if I can just make it past this, or this, I will be okay". But in reality, I don't think I'll ever be fully okay. I am a momma, I am always going to worry about you in some ways. Good thing I can pray to a God that listens and hears me, and cares about my life!
A few milestones/specific prayer requests that I have in my mind for this pregnancy are:
- get passed 5 weeks with no bleeding
- see your heartbeat on 6/7 week sonogram
- see your sweet little profile at my 11/12 week sonogram
- start having a little baby bump
- find out your gender!!
- start having a big baby bump
- feel your first kicks
- see your little face on a 3D ultrasound
- hear your heartbeat enough times that I can memorize the pattern
- get passed the point that if you were born early, everything would be okay
- reach my third trimester
- hear your first cry
- breastfeed you for the first time
- watch your daddy, big brother and big sister hold you for the first time
Okay, the list could go on and on. But I am praying and begging God to answer each one of these milestones with this pregnancy. At church yesterday, someone said something that really hit home with me. He was talking about his daughter needing heart surgery, and how he and his wife prayed before the surgery "Lord, if you heal her, we will serve you. If you don't heal her, we will still serve you." This is a powerful place to be, and I can confidently say that through everything the Lord has brought us through, if He answers each one of these milestones, we will serve Him. And if He doesn't, we will still serve Him and seek His direction for our lives. Praying specifically for all of my children today!! I love you all!
- Hi everyone! My name is Sarah, and I am a Christian, saved and sustained daily by my wonderful Savior. I am a wife to my high school sweetheart, Mitch; we got married at 19! I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, an aunt, a co-worker, and a woman that struggles with infertility. God has used this struggle to completely transform my life. I have experienced fear, hope, anxiety, compassion, trust, peace, tears, excitement, pain, laughter, and many other things that come with infertility. But most of all, I have a deeper trust and friendship with my Creator and my husband, and for this, I am forever thankful. The purpose of this blog is for me to remember the ups and downs of this trial, and how my Savior has brought me through it all. For those who have never struggled in this area, I hope this blog will help you see a glimpse into the life of someone struggling with infertility, so that you might better know how to encourage them through these difficult times. I also pray that this blog will help other women struggling in this area to know that you are not alone! There is a river of peace that is found in Christ that can help you through even the darkest of circumstances, I promise!