About Me

Hi everyone! My name is Sarah, and I am a Christian, saved and sustained daily by my wonderful Savior. I am a wife to my high school sweetheart, Mitch; we got married at 19! I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, an aunt, a co-worker, and a woman that struggles with infertility. God has used this struggle to completely transform my life. I have experienced fear, hope, anxiety, compassion, trust, peace, tears, excitement, pain, laughter, and many other things that come with infertility. But most of all, I have a deeper trust and friendship with my Creator and my husband, and for this, I am forever thankful. The purpose of this blog is for me to remember the ups and downs of this trial, and how my Savior has brought me through it all. For those who have never struggled in this area, I hope this blog will help you see a glimpse into the life of someone struggling with infertility, so that you might better know how to encourage them through these difficult times. I also pray that this blog will help other women struggling in this area to know that you are not alone! There is a river of peace that is found in Christ that can help you through even the darkest of circumstances, I promise!

Sunday, January 31, 2016

Is This Real Life?!?

Baby,

My sweet second baby. I am writing this to you while you are growing in my tummy! I can't even quite grasp the words I just typed! Today has been the craziest day in our entire ttc journey. I never thought in a million years that this day would come. That we would be able to be pregnant without any assistance from any doctors.

But today was the day!! Today was the day that the greatest Physician that ever was gave us a gift that we never thought we would receive: a natural, positive pregnancy test!!! Just one month after my surgery, I am sitting here staring at the most beautiful two lines I've ever seen!

Am I excited? Yes! Am I overjoyed beyond words? Yes! But am I scared and nervous? Yes, unfortunately.

I've had a feeling all along that this might be the month. That all it would take was the surgery and then we would be pregnant, but I still tried so hard not to read into anything. Every twinge and cramp and feeling that I had, I tried to talk myself out of believe that this could be it. I had determined not to test until 2 days after my missed period, but all of that changed tonight at my favorite pregnancy test taking location; Walmart :)

Me, daddy and your brother and sister were at Walmart buying groceries tonight, and daddy suggested that I just go ahead and buy a pack of tests just in case. I immediately had the urge to pee, so I paid and took the test in the bathroom while daddy and the kids waited outside. I went into the stall, peed on the stick, and set it down on the toilet paper holder. I couldn't look. I just couldn't bring myself to look right away. I prayed and casually looked over assuming that I would see just one line, but nope, there it was!! Two lines, clear as day!!!!!

One of the most exciting things about you is that you are a total miracle and a total surprise! No one even really knows my exact cycle or that it would be possible to be pregnant this quickly after surgery. We are more excited that we can even express in words!!

Your cousin Zayne will be born soon, like within the next two weeks! Sometime shortly after that, we will be able to see you on a sonogram for the first time! We are praying like crazy for this day! I cannot wait to see your precious little heartbeat!!! Once that day comes, we will be able to surprise all of our family and friends with your amazing story!

Praying that God would protect my heart and keep everything about you safe for your entire life. Praying that we will be able to hold you in October, and that you will get to meet your big brother and sister that we love beyond words!!

It would be so easy to be frustrated that we spent so much money on Ivf, when surgery was clearly the answer. But if we had had surgery 3 years ago, we wouldn't have Maddox and Madeline, and the thought of that makes me sick. I am beyond thankful that God's ways are higher than ours and that He has such an amazingly intricate plan for our lives!! We would go through all of this pain and heart ache again for every single one of our children!

We love you so much!!! I cannot wait for you to join our crazy little family!!!!!

-mommy