So much is going through my mind right now. I just snuggled and tucked in the two greatest blessings I've ever received. Maddox and Madeline, I will never be able to explain to you how much I love you. You have given me more than I ever thought possible. I knew I wanted to be a mommy, and in my heart I was a mommy to our first snowflake. But oh, the feeling of joy that comes over me every time I hear you say, "mommy", or every time you give me kisses. It's something I'll never be able to write enough words about.
I cannot thank God enough that there are two of you. There is something so insanely precious and special about starting out with two children. I already have siblings for my babies. You are each other's best friends. I will never have to worry that I won't be able to give my child a sibling, because God gave me two to start! He always knows what He's doing!!
But now that I've seen and experienced the joy of becoming a mother, it's going to take quite a lot to make me want to stop having/adopting children. We've already contacted our case worker, and we're not able to go back on the adoption list until it's been a year since we adopted. So, after a lot of prayer and talking, we've decided it was time to try another fertility treatment.
I started my medicine last week, without telling anyone but daddy. We will know within a couple of weeks if I am pregnant or not. This is the first time in over a year that I can honestly say I'm scared. I'm scared of what this outcome will be. I have all of these dreams in my head of being able to tell our families on Christmas that were pregnant. Our next child feels so close, but still so far away.
I am praying that we are able to get pregnant and give you both a healthy brother or sister some time next year! I know you will both be amazing with a new baby. I'm praying now that God will give me a peace about whatever the results are. And that we would be able to expand our family in whatever way He sees fit.
It is comforting to know that even if I don't get pregnant, I have the extreme joy of getting to be your mommy for the rest of the time that God gives you to me! It is a joy I would never trade!!
I love you!
- Hi everyone! My name is Sarah, and I am a Christian, saved and sustained daily by my wonderful Savior. I am a wife to my high school sweetheart, Mitch; we got married at 19! I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, an aunt, a co-worker, and a woman that struggles with infertility. God has used this struggle to completely transform my life. I have experienced fear, hope, anxiety, compassion, trust, peace, tears, excitement, pain, laughter, and many other things that come with infertility. But most of all, I have a deeper trust and friendship with my Creator and my husband, and for this, I am forever thankful. The purpose of this blog is for me to remember the ups and downs of this trial, and how my Savior has brought me through it all. For those who have never struggled in this area, I hope this blog will help you see a glimpse into the life of someone struggling with infertility, so that you might better know how to encourage them through these difficult times. I also pray that this blog will help other women struggling in this area to know that you are not alone! There is a river of peace that is found in Christ that can help you through even the darkest of circumstances, I promise!