With all of this news since Sunday, I have had a million emotions go through my mind and heart. On Sunday, I was scared and bitter and mad and angry and I pretty much lacked any faith that I would meet you one day. It was not my finest moment. Then, slowly but surely, God did a work in my heart, right in front of my eyes! He gave me peace, and strength, and comfort that literally surpass all understanding. As you know, one of my favorite poems by John Piper, The Misery of Job and The Mercy of God is something that I listen to often. Today was the third time I have listened to it this week. One of the sections stuck out to me most
Sometimes the spark of faith is slight
And does not make the darkness bright.
But keep it lit and you will find:
Far better this than being blind.
One little flame when all is night,
Proves there is such a thing as Light.
Remember now the place and price
Where Jesus promised paradise.
One answered prayer when all is gone,
Will give you hope to wait for dawn.
My spark of faith today is that I am pregnant. I AM PREGNANT. Words I never thought I would type. Words that I thought were so far out of the realm of possibility. Today, I am so thankful for this pregnancy. I am so thankful that my deep, dark, scary days of wondering if my body was capable of pregnancy are shattered. Those fears are gone! Even though this spark of faith doesn't fully make the darkness of this situation bright, it gives me hope to wait for dawn.