About Me

Hi everyone! My name is Sarah, and I am a Christian, saved and sustained daily by my wonderful Savior. I am a wife to my high school sweetheart, Mitch; we got married at 19! I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, an aunt, a co-worker, and a woman that struggles with infertility. God has used this struggle to completely transform my life. I have experienced fear, hope, anxiety, compassion, trust, peace, tears, excitement, pain, laughter, and many other things that come with infertility. But most of all, I have a deeper trust and friendship with my Creator and my husband, and for this, I am forever thankful. The purpose of this blog is for me to remember the ups and downs of this trial, and how my Savior has brought me through it all. For those who have never struggled in this area, I hope this blog will help you see a glimpse into the life of someone struggling with infertility, so that you might better know how to encourage them through these difficult times. I also pray that this blog will help other women struggling in this area to know that you are not alone! There is a river of peace that is found in Christ that can help you through even the darkest of circumstances, I promise!

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Top Secret Transfer

Babies,

The day is here again. I have had mixed emotions about this day. It wasn't long ago that I was laying on the same bed in the doctors office, holding daddy's hand while the doctor placed two beautiful embryos inside of me. Then 10 days later, we received the crushing news that the procedure did not take, and I was still not pregnant. At the time of that first transfer, we had everyone we knew praying for us. It was a huge step in our journey, and we wanted everyone to be involved and be praying. But this time, we want it to be a surprise. We want to finally have the chance to knock everyone's socks off with the news of a pregnancy!

So daddy and I decided that we would do this transfer, and keep it top secret. This was somewhat easy to do. We told a few people that we were going to be having some tests run for the next couple of months to see if we could figure out why the first transfer didn't work. But little do they know, we transferred two more precious embryos today!!

Daddy and I have been praying for so long now, that we would finally get to meet you. I pray that both of you would make yourselves nice and cozy in there, and that you would stay for 9 whole months! I pray that we will get to see your sweet heartbeats soon, and that we would get to watch you grow in my belly! That I would finally get to feel the kick of our little babies inside of me. I can't wait!!

Ten more days of patience, and we will know the results of this second transfer. The doctor feels very confident that we will achieve a pregnancy this cycle. Praying for you every day!!! Love you!

-mommy

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Dear ALL moms: SHUTUP

Dear ALL moms: SHUTUP

There have been two different articles going around Facebook this week. One that started out by a stay at home mom that was urging all other stay at home moms to shut up and stop complaining about their jobs. Then another by a stay at home mom that said, DON’T shut up; urging stay at home moms to complain less, but also not to be afraid to be open about the daily struggle it is to be a full time mom.

As a woman that is dealing with infertility, and has yet to become a mommy, these two articles make me sick.

I would give ANYTHING to have puke on my yoga pants,  or get peed and crapped on all day, or have to change 20 diapers a day for a living, or have to juggle all of these things that stay at home moms can’t make up their mind about whether they love or hate.

I get it, I've never walked in your shoes. I've never had a child, so I don’t know what it’s like to have the stress of being a stay at home mom. But, most of you have never walked in my shoes, and you should be thankful for that. Most of you have probably never desired a baby SO bad, and had to swallow the fear that that desire might never be filled.

So please, get off Facebook, and go cuddle your child. No matter how frustrating and difficult they've been today. No matter how many times they've puked and peed on you and drawn on your walls and stained your carpet. Go cuddle them, and kiss them, and sing them to sleep. Because I promise you, there are women out there that would give anything to trade shoes with you for a day.

-a mommy in my heart


Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Heartbreak & Picnics

Baby,

There are few people in life that you will ever meet where you instantly feel like you've known them forever. Where there is a bond that is unexplainable. God sometimes uses these types of people to change your life in a drastic way, and today, I was able to experience this.

A few months ago, I was given the contact information for a friend of a friend who I had never even heard of before. This person had experienced similar situations to what we were going through, so I decided to contact her. Infertility is one of those subjects that immediately can draw two people together. From the very beginning of my friendship with Amanda, there was never TMI, nothing I said ever crossed the line, nothing I said was ever misunderstood, she just GOT ME. I could spit out a confusing sentence, and she knew exactly what I meant. I could typo 10 times in a text, and she knew exactly what I meant- and I had never even met this girl before!! It was actually about 6 weeks into our daily texts that we finally sent pictures of ourselves!

Well, yesterday was a very tough day. It was a day full of heartbreak. I took another pregnancy test in the morning before work, and yet again, 1 pink line- Not Pregnant. I had bloodwork scheduled today at the doctors office because this is what they do in order to determine 100% whether you are pregnant or not. Of course the call came in around 1:00 with the results, and the nurse confirmed that my bloodwork showed no trace of the pregnancy hormone. This was devastating. How? Why? So many questions going through my head. I texted everyone the news, and got loving responses in return.

But Amanda, she had more than just a text in mind. She texted and told me that her and a friend wanted to take me to lunch the next day, and asked if I could meet them in Port Orange. I had no clue what to except. I had met the other girl briefly at a rehearsal dinner for some friends about a year ago, but had never talked in depth with her before. But I wanted to go to lunch. I knew that God had brought Amanda and Kerri into my life for a reason, and I was so thankful for their comforting friendship.

So today, I show up in Port Orange, excepting to hop in a car with them and ride over to wherever we were going to lunch. But they had a different plan in mind. They had a full picnic set out for me!! And a full basket of all my favorite things! Cookies, cheetos, sweet tea, gift cards, donuts. Seriously, it could not have been more spot on. They were there to completely love on me, and I had never even met them before!

We ate, cried, laughed, prayed. It was a perfect lunch, at a perfect time. This picnic just proves to me all the more that we have such a loving and comforting God. He puts the most unusual and unexpected people in our lives to show us that HE weaves it all together. HE is the one that knows beginning to end. He knew that my bloodwork would come back negative yesterday, and He also knew that these sweet, unexpected people would shower me with comfort and prayers.

As hard as yesterday was, I can type today with full confidence that God is good! He is good on the good days, and He is good on the hard days. I can't wait to teach you these things one day!

-mommy