About Me

Hi everyone! My name is Sarah, and I am a Christian, saved and sustained daily by my wonderful Savior. I am a wife to my high school sweetheart, Mitch; we got married at 19! I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, an aunt, a co-worker, and a woman that struggles with infertility. God has used this struggle to completely transform my life. I have experienced fear, hope, anxiety, compassion, trust, peace, tears, excitement, pain, laughter, and many other things that come with infertility. But most of all, I have a deeper trust and friendship with my Creator and my husband, and for this, I am forever thankful. The purpose of this blog is for me to remember the ups and downs of this trial, and how my Savior has brought me through it all. For those who have never struggled in this area, I hope this blog will help you see a glimpse into the life of someone struggling with infertility, so that you might better know how to encourage them through these difficult times. I also pray that this blog will help other women struggling in this area to know that you are not alone! There is a river of peace that is found in Christ that can help you through even the darkest of circumstances, I promise!

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Tears, butter & sweet rolls

Baby,

Looks like we're going to have to wait at least another month before we get to meet you. Just wanted to share a little something about mommy, since you don't know me too well yet.

I am not a cryer. I don't cry. Ever. Well, not ever. But very, very rarely.

Since your daddy and I have been married, I can count on a handful of times that I have cried. I teared up on our wedding day when Pastor Michael talked about watching me grow up. I cried when grandma died, and I cry at times during praise and worship at church. Other than that, I don't cry.

Until now.

My emotions during this unexpected journey have been quite unexpected in and of themselves. I never knew this many tears could come out of me. It's not all the time, just when I start my period. Just when I get scared that I might not ever meet you. That it just might not be something that we will ever experience. Will I ever POAS (pee on a stick) and see two lines? Ever? Will I have to have a dreaded period every month for the rest of my life? Will I have to constantly see others get pregnant around me, and never get to have that joy for myself? Will I ever get to surprise daddy with this amazing news?

Now, let me tell you something about daddy. He is a funny guy. His #1 goal when I am upset, sad, crying, or even mad, is to make me laugh. He loves to make me laugh.

Last night, we were supposed to have aunt Hope and uncle Jordan over for dinner, so I went by Walmart on my way home and picked up a thing of Hawaiian sweet rolls. When I walked through the door I just lost it. Absolutely lost it. More tears than I have ever cried. Daddy hugged me, and tried to make me laugh, but it wasn't working.

I went into the kitchen to eat a sweet roll. Then I ate another, then another. Then daddy came in the kitchen and ate one, then another, and then another. By now, 6 of the 12 rolls are gone, and our friends weren't even there yet. Daddy looked at me, chuckled and said "Screw it, we're grieving, we're eating this whole pack of sweet rolls"

And we did. All 12 rolls, gone in under 2 minutes.

Then began our tradition. Daddy said that any time I started my period, I could just bring home a pack of sweet rolls and we will cry, and eat buttery sweet rolls until the whole pack is gone.

I pray I never have to bring home a pack of sweet rolls again, but if I do, your daddy is the only person in the world I would want to eat them with.

- mommy

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